After succumbing to mom jeans, boyfriend jeans, oversized sweaters, culottes pants, off the shoulder tops and bodysuits I frankly do not feel in a position to judge anyone.
Fundamentally I’m the first one who should feel ashamed for their dubious fashion choices, but no, I too often still comply to buying something simply because I saw it on Alexa Chung, totally uncaring of the fact that I may or may not look like a badly dressed dwarf belonging to Durins lineage.
I go on without a care, convince myself that those baggy flowy mid-calf pants must be mine and nothing, not even the bitter reality reflected in the changing room mirror can stop me: I have to buy them.
I do the same thing with t-shirts. I’ve bought: tigers, eyes, taglines, logos and stripes. Think of an idiot trend that has lasted no more than four months from the past year; I almost certainly have it in my wardrobe, at least in the low cost version.
All this to say that this year the t-shirt style worth buying, as Alexa Chung as demonstrated, is the retro 70s tee.
You know those slightly ‘faded’ t-shirts?
With the contrasting coloured crew neckline?
With vintage logos?
Or with slightly hippy prints?
The mood is therefore clear, and it’s once again Starksy & Hutch, the Jefferesons and Farrah Fawcett. You can find these tees literally everywhere, from Pull&Bear, to Topshop to Etsy and various vintage stores.
Everyone wore it with light washed high waisted jeans aka Brenda Walsh in 90210.
The fact that it was an item of clothing that looked alright on very few people didn’t seem to matter very much – in testimony of the fact that to this day we go around -unpunished- wearing things such as flared cropped pants proves how little importance we give to the ‘fit’ of the trend.
But now bodysuits have returned to infest street style photos and outfits, and has reappeared on the shelves of Zara &Company.
Either way, I’m weak minded and therefore I love this trend. Here I leave blonde warnings for the safe use of this trend, in memory of 1994 fashion.
★ Pay attention to the size, especially to the lenght
The bodysuit can become an amiable sharp knife in the private regions after a couple hours of wear and will make you as hysterical as a nicotine addict left without cigarettes.
It also tends to slip between the cheeks, let this be a warning.
★Think twice about what to pair it with.
★Sometimes they come with nasty uncomfortable clippy buttons to close them (I’m sure they have a specific name, I’m too lazy to google what is). These buttons are the devil and if you happen to be in a ‘social’ situation were you are required to swiftly and smoothly remove the above mentioned bodysuit doing so may require more effort than you’d expect.
Also, side note: apparently men find these clippy bodysuits ‘creepy’, probably cause associated with something a baby would sport.
Overall though I actually do like bodysuits. They’re not the most comfortable things in the world to wear but they do look good and are easy to pair. They also double as going out outfits so that’s a plus.
Where to find them?
From mother Zara or Asos where you can virtually find everything. And Topshop has the best ones in terms of fit. I own two and I’ve worn them so many times since I got them.
David Bowie and Alan Rickman in the same month are too much even for me.
Now, should these leap-year induced astrological conjunctions subside, soon the levels of endorphins in my brain will return to normal and I’ll go back and write something about the Golden Globes.
Meanwhile, to lift the spirits, I thought it was appropriate to do something sensible: look at pretty shoes.
Had this been an archeology-based blog we could have discussed the typological seriation of these shoes that Pinterest defines as flat block heels and that I, very trivially, would refer to as granny shoes.
If instead you’d rather read the fashion description it would go back to the Ferragamos Varas, a copy of Celines latest model or a Tango version with no strap and low heel.
Even after changing the various parts of this shoe, the result doesn’t change: granny shoes.
To me, despite the dangers and risks, they seem beautiful.
Because I don’t have the finances for the original Varas or Celines, since I have rent to pay, I also appreciate the Zara and Jeffrey Campbells versions: the model is known as Bitsie.
This is the first thought I had when I found myself face to face with the official Pantone page and it’s new colour ideas for the year.
“Like every year, I find myself faced with the dramatic issue of Pantone & the Chosen One, the pre-selected shit colour of the year.” – Me, last year.
This new colour trend is clearly the idea of a woman of childbearing age, under advanced hormonal phase, pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl; or else she might still be unaware of the gender of the babies and, so as not to hurt anyones feelings, decided to choose not one, but two colours for 2016.
Obviously these are the baby colours that will send all the fashionista psycho-mothers into fits of awe and contentment as they’ll be able to coordinate their outfits to their babys overalls: Rose Quartz and Serenity and all of the shades that come form the fusion of these two (shit) colours.
And as much as I complained about last years Pantone choice – Marsala – even THAT was better than these two shades.
The issue that velvet has made it’s comeback with domineering and bossy fashion should be briefly analysed from an anthropological point of view directly relative to the species:
What motivates a normal average person to wear velvet?
I don’t know, I think there’s a thousand valid reasons to oppose the use of velvet, for example, despite it’s appearance, it’s as warm as a €9.90 acrylic jumper, if you were to run whilst wearing a pair of velvet pants you could create a powerful electrostatic charge and generate a fields worth of sparks useful for New Years Eve, as well as generating the same amount of heat as a gas stove, or worse, people could exchange you for an extra on the set of Starsksy & Hutch.
This list could be endless.
Instead, I would like to set aside this 70s mania, forget the bell-bottom pants and remove the various shades of brown associated with such things.
I like velvet when used outside of the 70s trend. And I like it on just about everything: shoes, blazers, skirts, tops, coats and bags.