All these fresh cotton dresses, often with bare shoulders, striped or with gingham prints and the omnipresent ruffles, can only be traced back to a single wonderful person: Brigitte Bardot.
The young Brigitte Bardot of the 60s, ho spent her summers on St. Tropez dressed in gingham dresses and capri pants is one of the most distinctive things ever.
The perfect diva: beautiful with her disheveled hair, totally flirtatious, but with the face of someone who doesn’t have a care in the world, reminiscent of the eternal nymphet described by Nabokov.
Many are divided between Audrey and Marilyn, often generating epic feuds, but I’ve always liked Brigitte, and the image of her freely roaming the little cobbled streets of the Côte d’Azur in her capri pants and with Alain Delon by her side.
So there we go, all these ruffles, flounces and frills that have been infesting dresses, tops, swimwear and probably even underwear, remind me of her and I love them.
Having undergone summer trends of neon colours, fringes, colour block and hairy birkenstocks, this year fashion has thankfully reprived us of hideous trends.
I love prints. One of my favorite fashion moment was when Dolce & Gabbana unveiled those beautiful 1950s inspired dresses covered in an eggplant print and when Stella McCartney followed suit, but with lemons.
Such madness, but such beauty depicted within those eggplants.
Then came the palm trees, the jungle and leafs in general.
Foliage everywhere: pants, suits, tank tops, phone covers, skirts and even socks. Basically we were camouflaged like Rambo in Vietnam for a young English colonialist vacationing in Laos.
Instead, this year it is appropiate to wear the preferred fashion food of all the fashion bloggers on Instagram: avocado, pineapple and semi-peeled bananas.
Do not ask me for the logic or the meaning of this iconography, I can report fashion trends but I am not able to comprehend the twisted reasons and motivations that lie behind the pervese mechanism of fashion.
But we can all agree that pineapples and avocados are quite cute, I mean, maybe by 2018 radishes will be fashionable, so let’s not complain.
Already in the early age of elementary school I began to understand just how unfair life could be: chickenpox struck me and shortly after the dark violent fate of nearsightedness befell upon my eyes. My glasses forever in my backpack cause wearing them made me feel very little fashion & beauty.
Luckly, however, other things mad eup for those woes: my sense of taste never had rivals and, lately, I’m also refining the sense of smell due to the practice of smelling perfumes.
But during one of those rare moments in which theory prevails over practice, I made a shocking discovery. If we set aside the poetry evoked by things such as ‘rose water’ and ‘bergamot’ all it takes is opening Wikipedia to understand that perfumes contain unspeakable and quite disgusting things:
▶ Castoreum: yellowish substance produced by the beaver and secreted by glands located between the anus and the sexual organ.
▶ Moss: and we’re not talking about the green velvet of the woods also used in Nativity scenes at Christmas, but rather of hormonal pellets deposited by the male musk deer (Asian ruminant of small size) during the mating season to attract the female. This ‘moss’ is used for Chanel No. 5 (hello Marilyn) and Shalimar by Guerlain.
▶ Civet: other secretion of perianal glands, this time belonging to the animal’s namesake. When diluted in alcohol and into the ether it releases pleasant floral and aromatic hues. Wow.
▶ Ambergris: after moss, here’s another substance that has placed me in front of my boorish ignorance; I thought it was a variant of coniferal fossilized resin, a waxlike substance that originates as a secretion in the intestines of the sperm whale, found floating in tropical seas (half a kilogram costs 60.000 euros). Those of you who own Dior Poison now know what you’re spraying on yourselves.
▶ Hyraceum Stones: crystallized urine of South American hyrax rodents.
I’m still very bewildered about the whole thing, but to conclude I only have one profound question:
These are definitely the years for the international fight against bunions, deformed feet, corns, calluses, blisters and invocations of Satan. Fortunately as of lately the comfortable shoe has become fashionable, with virtues and defects of this phenomenon, where by defects I mean horrid Birkenstock sandals with fur.
I began seeing pictures of these Axel Arigato shoes worn by famous and non famous bloggers in my usual place of perdition that is Instagram. Ok I’ll admit it: I start combing through fashion pics once the pictures of food have already scraped the pits of my stomach. But hey at least I keep myself up to date.
Apparently, even anonymity is trendy, because no one even knows what this Parisian shoe designer looks like, but the poetry that overcomes my spirit leads me to one conclusion: who even cares, the important thing is that we’re looking at shoes.
The brand chooses to offer a collection which gets constantly renewed, using quality materials and affordable prices. All this is very sold out, for a sadistic brand that calls on purchasing without too many considerations hashtag impulse buying.