I went camping in a random forest with a few friends a few weeks ago, and unintentionally got away with doing absolutely nothing but sit and watch while the others set up the fire/tents/cooked and all that good stuff. I hadn’t been camping in a really long time and I loved it!
But here on Life on Mars I rarely focus on the positives, so here we go with a bit of complaining. When I think about camping I think of the worst things that can happen to a human being: sitting on the hard ground, being forced to sleep on it, frosty moist dampness, that nasty condensation inside the tent, sleeping bags, water infiltrations, all topped with the inconvenience of an 18th century Europe public restroom.
Perhaps the various family camping trips in desolated camping sites I went on as a child left a permanent mark on my psyche, but the truth is that there are lots of beautiful campsites that don’t resemble a camp of Persian soldiers at the gates of Thermopylae.
The night I came home from my recent camping experience, I went on Pinterest and saw the most beautiful camping site I have ever seen.
The camping site in question is located in Slovenia on Lake Bled which is a wonderful alpine lake that has all the characteristics of magical land: a small island with a fascinating legend, a lady, a castle, and a slice custard cake as a welcoming treat.
Right next to the banks of the lake there is a beautiful camping site that Slovenians have called Glamping, and that is made up of two different types of wooden chalets: small apartments or single houses with a sloped roof that resemble actual tents. Both solutions have glass walls all round that overlook both the lake and the forest of sleeping while literally being immersed in nature but in total comfort.
The entire campground is based on an ecological philosophy of being fully environmentally sustainable. The chalets are built using local larch wood, thermally insulated and heated so they’re available to stay in all year round.
I love prints. One of my favorite fashion moment was when Dolce & Gabbana unveiled those beautiful 1950s inspired dresses covered in an eggplant print and when Stella McCartney followed suit, but with lemons.
Such madness, but such beauty depicted within those eggplants.
Then came the palm trees, the jungle and leafs in general.
Foliage everywhere: pants, suits, tank tops, phone covers, skirts and even socks. Basically we were camouflaged like Rambo in Vietnam for a young English colonialist vacationing in Laos.
Instead, this year it is appropiate to wear the preferred fashion food of all the fashion bloggers on Instagram: avocado, pineapple and semi-peeled bananas.
Do not ask me for the logic or the meaning of this iconography, I can report fashion trends but I am not able to comprehend the twisted reasons and motivations that lie behind the pervese mechanism of fashion.
But we can all agree that pineapples and avocados are quite cute, I mean, maybe by 2018 radishes will be fashionable, so let’s not complain.
Already in the early age of elementary school I began to understand just how unfair life could be: chickenpox struck me and shortly after the dark violent fate of nearsightedness befell upon my eyes. My glasses forever in my backpack cause wearing them made me feel very little fashion & beauty.
Luckly, however, other things mad eup for those woes: my sense of taste never had rivals and, lately, I’m also refining the sense of smell due to the practice of smelling perfumes.
But during one of those rare moments in which theory prevails over practice, I made a shocking discovery. If we set aside the poetry evoked by things such as ‘rose water’ and ‘bergamot’ all it takes is opening Wikipedia to understand that perfumes contain unspeakable and quite disgusting things:
▶ Castoreum: yellowish substance produced by the beaver and secreted by glands located between the anus and the sexual organ.
▶ Moss: and we’re not talking about the green velvet of the woods also used in Nativity scenes at Christmas, but rather of hormonal pellets deposited by the male musk deer (Asian ruminant of small size) during the mating season to attract the female. This ‘moss’ is used for Chanel No. 5 (hello Marilyn) and Shalimar by Guerlain.
▶ Civet: other secretion of perianal glands, this time belonging to the animal’s namesake. When diluted in alcohol and into the ether it releases pleasant floral and aromatic hues. Wow.
▶ Ambergris: after moss, here’s another substance that has placed me in front of my boorish ignorance; I thought it was a variant of coniferal fossilized resin, a waxlike substance that originates as a secretion in the intestines of the sperm whale, found floating in tropical seas (half a kilogram costs 60.000 euros). Those of you who own Dior Poison now know what you’re spraying on yourselves.
▶ Hyraceum Stones: crystallized urine of South American hyrax rodents.
I’m still very bewildered about the whole thing, but to conclude I only have one profound question:
Monday mornings call for a significantly higher energetic charge than any other day of the week, that extra effort that we sometimes refer to as optimismthat reminds us that where there’s a Monday, after five days, there is always a Saturday. Because if you don’t look at the bright side of everything depression would be far too close.
And so let’s banish away negativity through subliminal messages found in street style that day after day teaches us something new and should therefore be included as a compulsory school subject instead of religion.
Street style fashion teaches us to never throw away anything, not even complimentary t-shirts, as you could end up seeing them on sale on Mytheresa.com for 245euro each.
To strenghten your self-esteem and feel beautiful even during those days, you can get yourself a random State sash and declare yourself as the best-all-round.
Life needs to be lived comfortably, regardless.
Talking to strangers is a highly dangerous practice and I highly discourage you from doing so. If you really can’t avoid it, try to handl the situation by giving your face an aura of mystery.
Everyone wore it with light washed high waisted jeans aka Brenda Walsh in 90210.
The fact that it was an item of clothing that looked alright on very few people didn’t seem to matter very much – in testimony of the fact that to this day we go around -unpunished- wearing things such as flared cropped pants proves how little importance we give to the ‘fit’ of the trend.
But now bodysuits have returned to infest street style photos and outfits, and has reappeared on the shelves of Zara &Company.
Either way, I’m weak minded and therefore I love this trend. Here I leave blonde warnings for the safe use of this trend, in memory of 1994 fashion.
★ Pay attention to the size, especially to the lenght
The bodysuit can become an amiable sharp knife in the private regions after a couple hours of wear and will make you as hysterical as a nicotine addict left without cigarettes.
It also tends to slip between the cheeks, let this be a warning.
★Think twice about what to pair it with.
★Sometimes they come with nasty uncomfortable clippy buttons to close them (I’m sure they have a specific name, I’m too lazy to google what is). These buttons are the devil and if you happen to be in a ‘social’ situation were you are required to swiftly and smoothly remove the above mentioned bodysuit doing so may require more effort than you’d expect.
Also, side note: apparently men find these clippy bodysuits ‘creepy’, probably cause associated with something a baby would sport.
Overall though I actually do like bodysuits. They’re not the most comfortable things in the world to wear but they do look good and are easy to pair. They also double as going out outfits so that’s a plus.
Where to find them?
From mother Zara or Asos where you can virtually find everything. And Topshop has the best ones in terms of fit. I own two and I’ve worn them so many times since I got them.