Mars is a great planet to live on, but sometimes it gets boring. I needed to distract myself last night and I so I headed to the cinema. I was faced with this choice: re-watch The Force Awakens or watch a movie about the story of a mop.
Yeah guess which one I went for.
So today I’m going to tell you about a biographical movie about the inventor of the mop.
How could you not want to talk about a woman who became a billionaire by inventing a wet rotating broom? Amazing product design right there.
Anyway, I want to quickly win back the cherry points I may have lost by blogging about a mop by saying that the cast included Robert de Niro, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence won the Golden Globe for best actress. So all serious stuff.
But basically it’s the story of the life of Joe Mangano who invented the Miracle Mop back in the nineties, and laboriously brought fame and success to her invention thanks to television sales on American channels such as QVC.
On the 20th Century Fox page you can find the trailer a plot far more official and detailed than mine.
I’ll get straight to the point and tell you what I’ve been watching this past week, while I was enclosed in the cocoon of my duvet under the effects of Lemsip.
They’re seriously cool on Netflix. No lions in the Savannah, No templar conspiracies, no random crap, just serious stuff.
Hot Girls Wanted
I hate the porn industry, not because I’m a feminist or whatever, but because I’ve read various interviews of ex porn stars who essentially denounced those who were real cases of abuse. In a day of pure boredom I stumbled across a series of articles that left me in shock. I saw this famous documentary about the amateur porn industry in Miami and, as expected, it painted a sad, degrading and disheartening picture for these girls. In the end I wanted to bring them all back to their homes and families.
Making a murderer
Everyone’s talking about it, everyone’s upset, because this isn’t a tv, it isn’t fiction, but a documentary to denounce real life events, a sort of last hope for the family of Steven Avery, the man accused of and unjustly jailed for 18 years for a sexual assault he did not commit and whose legal ups and downs are, unfortunately, far from being over. In fact, for the Avery family, this is probably the last bit of hope to denounce the facts and to regain at least a little bit of legal and social redemption. It’s not a good or bad documentary, but it is worth watching. The end.
As noted by everyone who lives on this planet(or any other galaxy, we don’t do discrimination here on Mars) and is in possession of an internet connection or an owl who delivers letters from the outside world, the 16th of December 2015 marked the release of a new chapter in the saga: The force awakens.
At the beginning of September #ForceFriday happened, when all the merchandising concerning the force awakens (toys, lightsabers, gadgets, books on the journey to The Force Awakens) landed in shops and Disney Stores all around the world.
I have little interest in the official merchandising, though this hype led me to Etsy, where I found super cool Star Wars things clearly essential for the continuation of my existence, things such as: books, prints (I looove prints), cookie cutters, blankets and stickers.
They even sell doormats.
Do I need to say more?
I do not take responsibility for the inevitable heart failure fans of the series will have once they type the magic word on Etsy, or when they’ll browse the Urban Outfitters website and see those amazing t-shirts.
On the actual movie, for now, I’m not going to write anything, because many might not have seen it yet and it would be impossible not to spoil it. One thing I can say is: even if you’re not a huge fan, Star Wars is still epic. Another sure thing is that I would buy all of the BB8 gadgets.
The coolest, it literally does anything. Controlled through an application for smartphones, it is also able to explore the surrounding areas with autonomy. It can record holographic videos. I don’t need to say anything else.
Classic Disney movies are made of the same stuff dreams are made of: princes, songs, dazed and incompetent princesses, straight blonde hair, evil envious villans and joyful gala balls.
In between there is always a villain harbouring vipers within, poisoned by some kind of past torment, who rightfully spends his/her days loathing the above mentioned princesses.
Beautiful princesses, who always have beautiful hair, but who spend their existence either stuck in a perpetual coma or some other mortal danger and dividing themselves between things like: picking berries in the woods, talking to birds, convincing fawns to clean their house, getting their fingers pricked on a spinning wheel -who doesn’t own a spinning wheel in their home?- and carelessly accepting poisoned apples from an old ugly witch who appears clearly and obviously as dangerous as a strain of ebola.
Despite their mere idiocy, they always end up marrying the rich and wealthy prince, flaunting a puffed-up ballgown and pointy heels.
Such iconography has led us poor adult women to grow up seeking rings, boyfriends, long hair and Jimmy Choo shoes.
So last night I wrapped myself in a big blanket nursing a cup of hot chocolate in bed as any 20 year old would do, mentally cursing Aurora, her prince and her blonde beach waves that do not exist in real life, ready to watch the story from Maleficents point of view. She’s one of my favorite villans ever.
And villan is something you don’t become by accident -don’t forget Darth Vader– and while watching Maleficent I learned that the horned witch with violet dark circles whose image used to terrorize me as a child is not so evil after all.
Maleficent, a good fairy very well-liked by the general public, lives in the Moors, and one day she meets Stefan, one of the Kings servants, whom she falls for after a kiss she believes -friend, pat on the shoulder- is of true love.
Meanwhile, the King dreams to take over the Moors, kingdom Maleficent strenuously protects, and promises his Throne and daughter to whomever succeeds in killing Maleficent.
The infamous ambitious traitor Stefan, exploiting maleficent trust, approaches her to kill her, but, as an after-thought, limits himself to taking her wings and taking them to the king as a evidence.
Get it? This explains the spinning wheel, the crow, the hatred, the turning up at the wedding uninvited, the hostility towards the stupid queen ect.
It explains everything, she couldn’t have caused that scene at the wedding, full of curses and anathemas, just because they had failed to invite her.
Although it’s not a masterpiece, the film finally shows a true love ending that no one expects.
Absolutely positive note: Angelina Jolie perfect in the role of Maleficent, with amazing cheekbones -lol to contouring– heavy make-up and dark magnificence.
“So you see, the story is not quite as you were told, and I should know, for I was the one they called “Sleeping Beauty”. In the end, my kingdom was united not by a hero or a villain, as legend had predicted, but by one who was both hero and villain. And her name was Maleficent. “
It’s that time of year when binge watching movie after movie is not frowned upon. And for the series Friday-night-at-home I bring you The wolf of Wall Street.
I have some serious considerations to make on “The Wolf of Wall Street”, which are the:
1.The title, uttered repeatedly and quickly puts me in as much difficulty as saying “I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop”.
2. Why hasn’t Leonardo di Caprio been awarded an Oscar yet?
3. “There’s no nobility in poverty” is something I also think every time I walk past Brown Thomas.
4. Granted I’d only never read the book and only saw the movie recently, but if I read one more review that says that in The Wolf of Wall Street there’s too much sex and too many drugs I’ll send over a pack of dementors.
The Wolf Of Wall Street, directed by Martin Scorsese, is a tachycardiac, fast and overexcited representation of the destructive parable of the life of the well known broker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo).
Belfort is crazy, so excessive to almost be classified as pulp and with a strong inner restlessness which acts as the engine that fuels the whole story. He’s the perfect anti-hero to Martin Scorsese, balanced on the brink of chaotic and agitated damnation made of money, drugs and sex, whose path, leading into inevitable descent, is without warnings only in appearance.