All these fresh cotton dresses, often with bare shoulders, striped or with gingham prints and the omnipresent ruffles, can only be traced back to a single wonderful person: Brigitte Bardot.
The young Brigitte Bardot of the 60s, ho spent her summers on St. Tropez dressed in gingham dresses and capri pants is one of the most distinctive things ever.
The perfect diva: beautiful with her disheveled hair, totally flirtatious, but with the face of someone who doesn’t have a care in the world, reminiscent of the eternal nymphet described by Nabokov.
Many are divided between Audrey and Marilyn, often generating epic feuds, but I’ve always liked Brigitte, and the image of her freely roaming the little cobbled streets of the Côte d’Azur in her capri pants and with Alain Delon by her side.
So there we go, all these ruffles, flounces and frills that have been infesting dresses, tops, swimwear and probably even underwear, remind me of her and I love them.
Having undergone summer trends of neon colours, fringes, colour block and hairy birkenstocks, this year fashion has thankfully reprived us of hideous trends.
I have never understood nomenclature in chemistry, and never will I understand the number of collections per brand that come out within the year.
How many capsule collections is a brand expected to birth per season?
Is the cruise collection before or after pre-fall?
Is pre-fall not just fall?
I can’t precisely answer these questions, all I know is that I can’t buy anything because everything costs so so much and I need to buy food. The fact remains that for Gucci, ever since Alessandro Micheles arrival, I always yarn and long every item.
A few weeks ago I spent 12 minutes of my life staring at a photo of a Gucci display window, because it was adorned with pink wallpaper and painted swans.
Could a more beautiful wall exist?
Frankly, I think not.
A little while ago the new capsule collection was released, and it involved a new version of the classic ‘flora & Fauna’ print.
It contains flowers, red and blue birds, snakes, carnations, roses and stars.
Speaking of the flowers, Alessandro spoke the following great truth:
I consider myself an animist. I have a great interest in the world of nature, a passion that I think transpires in my collections. The flowers, for example, are for me the representation of the power of beauty.
I love him, and I want every piece in that collection, because those flowery prints are the kinda things that turn my brain to mush, much like dinosaurs, pineapples, flamingos and banana prints.
After succumbing to mom jeans, boyfriend jeans, oversized sweaters, culottes pants, off the shoulder tops and bodysuits I frankly do not feel in a position to judge anyone.
Fundamentally I’m the first one who should feel ashamed for their dubious fashion choices, but no, I too often still comply to buying something simply because I saw it on Alexa Chung, totally uncaring of the fact that I may or may not look like a badly dressed dwarf belonging to Durins lineage.
I go on without a care, convince myself that those baggy flowy mid-calf pants must be mine and nothing, not even the bitter reality reflected in the changing room mirror can stop me: I have to buy them.
I do the same thing with t-shirts. I’ve bought: tigers, eyes, taglines, logos and stripes. Think of an idiot trend that has lasted no more than four months from the past year; I almost certainly have it in my wardrobe, at least in the low cost version.
All this to say that this year the t-shirt style worth buying, as Alexa Chung as demonstrated, is the retro 70s tee.
You know those slightly ‘faded’ t-shirts?
With the contrasting coloured crew neckline?
With vintage logos?
Or with slightly hippy prints?
The mood is therefore clear, and it’s once again Starksy & Hutch, the Jefferesons and Farrah Fawcett. You can find these tees literally everywhere, from Pull&Bear, to Topshop to Etsy and various vintage stores.
I love prints. One of my favorite fashion moment was when Dolce & Gabbana unveiled those beautiful 1950s inspired dresses covered in an eggplant print and when Stella McCartney followed suit, but with lemons.
Such madness, but such beauty depicted within those eggplants.
Then came the palm trees, the jungle and leafs in general.
Foliage everywhere: pants, suits, tank tops, phone covers, skirts and even socks. Basically we were camouflaged like Rambo in Vietnam for a young English colonialist vacationing in Laos.
Instead, this year it is appropiate to wear the preferred fashion food of all the fashion bloggers on Instagram: avocado, pineapple and semi-peeled bananas.
Do not ask me for the logic or the meaning of this iconography, I can report fashion trends but I am not able to comprehend the twisted reasons and motivations that lie behind the pervese mechanism of fashion.
But we can all agree that pineapples and avocados are quite cute, I mean, maybe by 2018 radishes will be fashionable, so let’s not complain.
Already in the early age of elementary school I began to understand just how unfair life could be: chickenpox struck me and shortly after the dark violent fate of nearsightedness befell upon my eyes. My glasses forever in my backpack cause wearing them made me feel very little fashion & beauty.
Luckly, however, other things mad eup for those woes: my sense of taste never had rivals and, lately, I’m also refining the sense of smell due to the practice of smelling perfumes.
But during one of those rare moments in which theory prevails over practice, I made a shocking discovery. If we set aside the poetry evoked by things such as ‘rose water’ and ‘bergamot’ all it takes is opening Wikipedia to understand that perfumes contain unspeakable and quite disgusting things:
▶ Castoreum: yellowish substance produced by the beaver and secreted by glands located between the anus and the sexual organ.
▶ Moss: and we’re not talking about the green velvet of the woods also used in Nativity scenes at Christmas, but rather of hormonal pellets deposited by the male musk deer (Asian ruminant of small size) during the mating season to attract the female. This ‘moss’ is used for Chanel No. 5 (hello Marilyn) and Shalimar by Guerlain.
▶ Civet: other secretion of perianal glands, this time belonging to the animal’s namesake. When diluted in alcohol and into the ether it releases pleasant floral and aromatic hues. Wow.
▶ Ambergris: after moss, here’s another substance that has placed me in front of my boorish ignorance; I thought it was a variant of coniferal fossilized resin, a waxlike substance that originates as a secretion in the intestines of the sperm whale, found floating in tropical seas (half a kilogram costs 60.000 euros). Those of you who own Dior Poison now know what you’re spraying on yourselves.
▶ Hyraceum Stones: crystallized urine of South American hyrax rodents.
I’m still very bewildered about the whole thing, but to conclude I only have one profound question: