Every now and then I do crazy and inexplicable things like reading about the birth and evolution of the universe or re watching every season of Lost and not understanding half of it. Last week was one of these times. Once I watched every episode of the show I turned to google to shed some light on what exactly I had spent a month watching. The inter web offered numerous explanations, and the most plausible one was the theory that everything happened in a parallel universe.
I ended up reading, to distract myself from the tropical heat, about a strange theory quantum mechanics experts came up with – I still ignore what exactly quantum mechanics is, but I always wanted to write it- for which our reality can be split every time a particle has the ability to behave in different ways.
Because of this, two parallel universes are born: one where the particle behaves one way, and one where that same particle behaves in the opposite manner.
Could this explain the absurd behavior of some members of the male gender? Could it be a matter of particles?
Either way, the fact that parallel universes really do exist is obvious and I want to believe it, otherwise I couldn’t explain why people want to classify themselves on the basis of the most idiotic physical features possible.
So I want to believe that this thing about the belly slot, thigh gap and bikini bridge exists only in these parallel universes, but not in our reality.
What is a belly slot?
It’s that line, imaginary or real, I’m not quite sure which, that extends from the base of the breasts down to the navel. WTF? Personally, I have a horizonatal belly slot when I sit down, but I don’t think it’s the same thing. Apparently this social trend was first launched by Emily Ratasomething – I’m not really bothered to google the name- and that people now photograph and post on Instagram. Unfollow, block and avoid these people like the plague.
The tigh gap is supposedly and as the name suggests, that empty space between your thighs -something unseen here on Mars- photographed from above, hash tagged and posted on instagram. The director tells me that some girls place a white sheet of paper behind their legs to make it seem as though the space between their thighs is wider, and I can’t help wonder how distant their brain hemispheres are instead. A lot, I guess.
To conclude this overview of human stupidity, we have the bikini bridge, a matter that touches on the absurd, and I had to goggle it and copy the definition: that bridge that protruding hip bones form when stretching the fabric of the bikini, photographed while lying down at the beach.