SALES guide: rules to follow to avoid ending up with no money as soon as you click order

The sales have begun. In virtue of necessity we run around these mortal sales looking for the best deals. There are websites that you should keep an eye on right away, as they offer beautiful things at unexpectedly discounted prices, and even though you may think you get there early, you could still be afflicted by a bloody SOLD OUT.  My approach to the sales and what to buy is as follows: 

✓OPEN THE CLOSET

 Sales are like exams: you must study what to buy and review what you already own. Because it’s pretty annoying coming home with your new purchase, opening your drawer and grieving like the virgin mother for having discovered that there already was an almost identical top. I wrote closet but I know that the plural version closets is more appropriate.

✓CLEAR YOU HEAD AND ESTABLISH PRIORITIES

It’s always a good idea to write down your needs and wants in two separate columns, so that each theme has a clear list of priorities. This could easily be a mental list, so as not to look like a compulsive freak at the eyes of those family members who will never understand what the sales period is. Should your list turn out abnormally long, and writing actually helps you, go ahead and write it down, but be prepared to dissolve any traces of the list in acid.

✓THE NEEDS

Let’s resign ourselves immediately to the fact that needs are generally something basic. Zara knows this and will never give us that plain silk-cotton shirt for more than a 20% discount (at 30% it would be considered a divine manifestation). Waiting for those basic pieces to be further reduced is pointless, so proceed to buying it ASAP.

✓ THE WANTS

By wants I mean items that are more or less absurd but that you still want to buy just to “try them in real life”. Items such as those stringy sandals that make your legs look like sausages, 15 inch heels, zebra printed espadrilles, dinosaur printed sweatshirt, t-shirts with dubious inscriptions. Here we need to be far-sighted visionares: if something is objectively shit-looking and you’re the only one who could possibly like it, you can wait for the 70% discount at the end of August, otherwise, act now.  All that doesn’t respond to the words “weird” or “temporary” is obviously a necessity.                                                                                                                                                      

✓THE MORE YOU KNOW, THE MORE YOU KNOW        

It’s better to be informed on colours and trends for the upcoming season. It’s absolutely pointless to buy A-line skirts if next year you won’t even see them on those always well-dressed -sarcasm-  Jehovah’s Witnesses. Because we all know that with certain trends it’s always good to let the steam out at the start of the season. But if you waited for the sales then it’s because the item your heart desires is a want, and in that case it’s always better to spend less.

✓THE SIZES

That obsessive-compulsive moment in which you move from hanger to hanger in a desperate search for your size, when your gaze is fixated on the labels, and you keep murmuring to yourself L,L,L,L,M,L,M,S,L,S,S,S,M. Rain Man would be envious. This year Zara is trying to fool us with their sizes. I picked up a skirt that was an M and it honestly fits like a XL. So let’s just grab any size and something good will surely come out. 

✓LOVE AND CRUELTY

Know how to be a good admirer but have no mercy when it comes to your wallet.         The worship of an item must come to an end once you have reached the maximum boundaries of the predetermined spending limit you had set up. Desperate calls call for desperate measures. If you find yourself unable to stop spending, call one of the above mentioned unsuspecting relatives who will surely talk you out of buying that absolutely necessary white tee.

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